In the UK, more couples than ever – an estimated 3.5 million – are choosing to live together without getting married or entering into a civil partnership. For many, it feels like a natural progression in their relationship, and, in day-to-day life, there may appear to be little difference between living together and being married.
However, from a legal perspective, there is a significant distinction. The reality is that the law has failed to keep pace with modern family life when it comes to cohabiting couples. That’s why the current Government consultation on proposals to reform the rights of cohabiting couples is so important. For too long, millions of families have been living with a false sense of security, believing the law will protect them when, unfortunately, it often won’t.
Time and again, I meet people who are shocked to discover that the law offers far less protection to cohabiting couples than they had assumed. Many only find this out when a relationship breaks down or after the death of a partner, when emotions are already running high.
While change may come in the future, the current legal position remains unchanged, so couples should not assume greater protections already exist. Understanding your legal position before problems arise can save considerable stress, expense and uncertainty later.
Here are five things every cohabiting couple should know.
1. There is no such thing as a ‘common law spouse’
Perhaps the biggest misconception is the belief that living together for a certain number of years gives couples the same legal rights as marriage. It doesn’t.
The term ‘common law spouse’ is widely used, but it has no legal status in England and Wales whatsoever. Whether a couple has lived together for two years or 20, or has children together, cohabitation alone does not create the legal or financial rights that married couples or civil partners have should a relationship end.
Instead, disputes are often determined by property law, which can produce outcomes that feel unfair, particularly where one person has made financial or non-financial contributions without formally owning assets.
If you have children together, there may also be claims relating to financial provision for them, but these are very different from the financial remedies available on divorce.
2. Living together does not automatically mean you inherit from your partner
Many cohabiting couples assume that if one partner dies, the other will automatically inherit their estate. Again, this is not the case.
If your partner dies without a valid Will, the rules of intestacy do not automatically provide for an unmarried partner, regardless of how long you have lived together.
That can leave surviving partners facing significant financial uncertainty at an already difficult time.
Although it is possible in some circumstances for a cohabiting partner to bring a claim against an estate where reasonable financial provision has not been made, these claims depend on specific legal criteria being met and can involve lengthy, stressful and expensive litigation.
The simplest way to protect one another is by making professionally drafted Wills. This also creates an opportunity to review wider estate planning, including inheritance tax considerations and ensuring your wishes are clearly documented. For high-net worth (HNW) individuals, part of any tax planning should include consideration of whether marriage might be sensible to take advantage of the Inheritance Tax spousal exemption, however it will also be important to consider the legal implications of this before making an decisions. Joined up advice from both specialist private client lawyers and family lawyers is essential.
3. Agree how finances will work before moving in together
Talking about finances is not always easy, particularly at the beginning of a relationship. However, having these conversations early can avoid much bigger disagreements later.
If one partner owns the property, what happens if the other contributes towards the mortgage, renovations or household expenses? Are those payments simply considered rent, helping with living costs, or are they intended to create an ownership interest in the property?
Similarly, if parents contribute towards a property purchase, is that money intended as a gift or a loan? What would happen if the relationship ends?
Without clear evidence of everyone’s intentions, disputes can quickly become complicated and costly.
A cohabitation agreement allows couples to record how finances will be managed during the relationship and what should happen if they separate. It is not about expecting a relationship to fail. Rather, it provides clarity and certainty for both parties, reducing the scope for misunderstandings and potentially avoiding expensive court proceedings.
4. Marriage changes your legal position and can revoke a Will
Some couples who live together may eventually decide to marry. If that’s the case, it’s important to understand that while marriage brings additional legal protections, it does change your legal position.
If significant assets have been built up before marriage – for example, if you marry later in life, or if one or both parties have family wealth that they wish to protect – it is sensible to consider a pre-nuptial agreement. This is particularly the case for HNW individuals who have built up assets before the marriage, or have inherited or been gifted assets from family members. A properly drafted pre-nuptial agreement, which is not entered into as a result of any duress or undue influence and where other important factors are met, will be taken into account by the family court in England and Wales, provided it is fair.
Marriage also has important implications for estate planning. One point that often surprises people is that, in most cases, an existing Will is automatically revoked when you marry.
This means it is important to review your Will before the wedding and, where appropriate, prepare one in contemplation of marriage so your wishes continue to be properly reflected.
5. Have honest conversations about your future
Do you both see marriage or civil partnership as part of your plans? Do you want children? How will childcare responsibilities be shared? What are your long-term financial goals? How are you preparing for retirement? These questions are not always straightforward, but they help couples understand each other’s expectations and make informed decisions together.
Planning ahead is not about anticipating failure or negative outcomes. It is about protection and taking steps to reduce uncertainty – a bit like insurance.
Relationships evolve, and life can be unpredictable. While no one enters a relationship expecting it to end, understanding your legal position and putting appropriate arrangements in place can make an enormous difference if the unexpected happens.
For cohabiting couples, a little planning today can prevent significant financial and emotional difficulties tomorrow.
6. Cohabitation isn’t just for couples
It’s not only romantic partners who choose to live together. Many siblings share a home, whether to reduce living costs, care for one another or support ageing relatives.
While the legal issues are different, it’s still important to think ahead. If siblings jointly own a property, they should ensure ownership is properly documented and understand what would happen if one of them dies or wishes to sell. If only one sibling owns the home but the other contributes towards household costs or improvements, it’s sensible to be clear about whether those contributions are simply towards living expenses or intended to create a financial interest in the property.
Wills are particularly important in these situations. Without one, your estate will be distributed according to the rules of intestacy, which may not reflect your wishes or adequately provide for the sibling you have been living with or caring for.
